NOW IF GOD WERE TO QUESTION ME

Now if God were to question me and say Honi.. "What do you think you parents would want you to do.. how do you think they would want you to feel...? What would they say to you???
I think my folks would want me to heal... and honor their memory by being creative, by living life... by not waiting to do things... by getting healthy... by being strong... and by loving and cherishing my husband and my family and extended family... that is what I would tell God if he were to ask me what my parents would want from me... but there are other things that they would say....Mom would probably say PLEASE wear my jewelry that you chose...Please wear the ring or have it made into something you would wear ... don't just peak at it every now and then.. and LOSE WEIGHT... and take care of your heart ( as she said to me and my sisters right before her surgery... ) She would say .. see lots of movies.. see broadway plays... sing... be creative.. and she would tell me how pretty I looked. She would tell me to love my husband and take care of him... keep an eye on my nieces... and stay close to my sisters.. She would ask me to be strong too..
Dad would say... LOSE WEIGHT.. its the key to a healthier and better life... he would also tell me the latest joke.. and be sure I got a taste of the latest sweet or delicacy.. right after he said lose weight ... He would tell me not to spend a lot of money.. and to save and be wise with it as well. He would question my spending on music... but I think he would have loved the IPOD...
He would call me any number of sweet nick names he had for me... Mushra ,Tateleh ( yiddish for little darling) , Homely.. ( yeah he called me that very affectionately as a play on my name Honi) ..Honi Maisley another play on my name..
Perhaps we would even go to Golden Rule BBQ just like we did nearly every Saturday when I was growing up...
We sat in the white clapboard building with formica counter tops and little jukeboxes at each booth and at the counter.. we would sit on vinyl seats that stuck to your skin if you wore shorts that day.. He would order either two regular inside meat BBQs with french fries and a rootbeer or Grapeco .. He would order for me .. one regular inside meat BBQ and we would share those fries... We would continue to go there once they moved across the street.. to the "fancier" building.. but the food to this day has remained the same.. EXTREEMLY NOT KOSHER.. but very good... every now and then Steve and I eat there.. thinking about dad and how much he loved his Golden Rule...
Mom on the other hand.. well.. lets just say Golden Rule was not one of her favorite eateries.. Mom always worked on herself. denied herself.. exercised..but Momma had a weakness too and its name was CHOCOLATE... she loved chocolate.. and as she aged beautifully she also indulged more in that sweetness of Chocolate..
The Friday before everything happened we took Mom to iCANTINA for dinner.. she ate a whole Fish taco.. and said it was because Steve threatened her .. he didn't but it was nice to see mom really enjoy a meal.. You see when she ate at our house she loved to share her food with her granddogs Cookie and Baz.. and let me tell you .. they knew when Bubbe was there, food was a plenty.. Mom had her ways of sneaking them bread, eggs.. whatever she had on her plate.. WE would always tell her to stop.. but she always carried on.. That Sunday.. she did not fail at her game.. she shared her dinner with the dogs as usual.. we just laughed.. Mom liked to help tidy up after a meal at the house and more often then not I would fan her out of the kitchen and tell her to go sit with Steve.. I wish she would ask to help me .. one more time... She and Steve though would watch a movie or discuss the latest news of the day.. Mom loved talking to Steve..and getting his opinion....
I know exactly what my folks would say.. I could tell God.. and I would tell him.. how much I long to hear those voices again.. forever caught up in the tapestry of my life.. those voices that to the naked ear are silent.. but to the soul.. I can hear them loud and clear..